It's the night before that fateful Monday. Two midterms living in my head rent-free. I've done literally everything I can. My notes are annotated, and I've redone all the assignments I possibly could. Now, it's just a waiting game.
It's funny how waiting feels harder than studying. There's this restless energy building up, the kind that makes me want to write the paper NOW, while everything still feels sharp. But then that other voice shows up, telling me to hold that thought, and use every second I can before the clock runs out.
When exam day comes, there's this strange ritual that comes about, the shuffling of papers and the collective silence that hits right before the question papers are delivered. Everyone's trying to hold onto whatever fragments of knowledge are still left floating around. And when you finally get that paper, there's this tiny satisfaction that comes about. The unknown becomes known.
Tomorrow, the challenge isn't processing the information at the exam. It's the transition from one subject to another. You finish one, feel the relief start to rush in and then remind yourself to lock in all over again for a completely different exam two hours away. Volatility last week, Uncertainty this week, maybe that's how this semester wants to be remembered.
Earlier today, I came across the Nobel Prizes, how this year's winners were honored for discoveries made decades ago. All three scientific disciplines, physics, chemistry and medicine, all born from work that once looked too abstract, too unknown. One of the laureates, Dr. Clarke said that they had "no way of understanding the importance of their work." That's the strange beauty of uncertainty, the fact that you never really know what the effort will mean until a while later. It's like science and studying share the same secret. You keep moving forward without ever knowing if what you've done will pay off.
You prepare, you explore and you wait.
Last week, I said, "Maybe next week, the tightrope steadies...or maybe I just learn how to dance on it." Waiting feels like it's own kind of experiment, slow science for the mind. You don't see results but you just gotta trust the process, and eventually, the process will trust you. On that note, seems like a perfect time to call it a night. Until next week, when I find out whether I did well or not. Right now, I'd give about anything to fast-forward a few days and feel the relief of four midterms behind me...